Psychology concludes that “One of the deepest drives of human nature is the desire to be appreciated.” The craving to be trusted and held in esteem is very fundamental in our lives. Indeed it is doubtful if anybody ever outlives this desire of being thought well and having full affection of his associates.
So the next time you hear someone say “I don’t care about what people think about me or whether they like me or not.” Just put it down as a fact that the person is not telling the truth.
The feeling of not being wanted or needed is one of the most destructive human reactions –living like a lone wolf can result into a misery that is very difficult to describe with words. This feeling produces frustration, aging, illness. This is a very pathetic way of living.
I once met a beautiful 20 years old girl who surprised me by telling me that she has been unwanted ever since birth. Someone had given her the notion that she was an unwanted child in her childhood. This negativity had roots in her subconscious, giving her a profound sense of inferiority and self-depreciation. This resulted in making the girl very shy causing her to retreat into herself all the time which led to an unhappy and underdeveloped personality. The only cure her condition was to remodel her perception and spiritual life, which with great patience made her a well-liked person by setting her personality free of herself.
Some other people strive deliberately to be popular but the cruel reality is that most of them never attain it. This is due to the fact that in order to be a master of the art of popularity, one must be artless.
- Struggle hard for fame and the chances are people will never give it to you but will consider you as needy or a threat to those striving for fame also.
- Become one of those rare personalities with something to offer and you can be certain you are on your way to having more people like you.
However, you must keep in mind that despite all your attainments in popularity, haters will always be around. You will never get everybody to like you.
The fact here is that popularity can be attained by a few simple, natural and normal mastered principles. If practiced diligently, one can become a well-liked person. But before proceeding with the principles you must eradicate the idea that the reason other people don’t like you is because of something wrong with them. Assume, instead, that the trouble is within you and commit yourself to find and eliminate it. This requires scrupulous honesty followed by a process of personality rehabilitation.
The following are 5 principles for getting the esteem of others.
1. Learn to remember people’s name.
A man’s name is very important to him. Inefficiency in remembering names indicates a lack of sufficient outgoing interest. And this irritates most people.
I’ve crashed a lot of times with girls –especially those I met at the bar or in clubs due to this bad habit of forgetting names.
2. Become more comfortable with people.
If you are not the comfortable type of person, I suggest that you make study of your personality with a view toward eliminating conscious and unconscious elements of strain which may exist.
Acquire the quality of relaxed easy-goingness so that things do not ruffle for you.
3. Higher your values.
Cultivate qualities that will bring people to you.
Work on yourself and become interesting so that people will want to be with you and gain something of stimulating value from their association with you.
4. Express sympathy with people.
What goes around comes around.
People will never like you if you don’t like them in return. Never miss a beautiful opportunity to say a word of congratulation upon anyone’s achievement, or express sympathy in hard times or period of disappointment.
“I never met a man I didn’t like” Will Rogers.
5. Become a bringer of the light.
Get a deep spiritual experience so that you have something to give people that will help them be stronger than they were before meeting you. Help them meet life more effectively.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Alright, now you know everything you need to know to get people to like you more.
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